A Great Case for Homeschooling

David Walbert is awfully convincing:

Homeschooling is nearly always portrayed as a flight from something: bad influences, secular curriculum, bullying, drugs, violence, or simply a broken system. It’s made out to be merely an individual decision, defended (necessarily) by recourse to individual rights, a choice to exempt oneself from obligations to community for the good of one’s own children. But that seems to me exactly backwards. In fact, the homeschooling I’ve seen has produced children farless likely than the average American to see themselves as autonomous individuals, each the center of his or her own universe. Freed from the constraints of institutions, homeschooling is an opportunity to lay the foundations of community.

I’ve seen this among many of my friends who belong to homeschool groups, both formal and informal.  It’s nice to see kids making the most of unstructured time — which is really what childhood is supposed to be all about, remember?!

Forgiveness Among the Ashes

The bell rings, and I deliver my standard line: “Anything to pray for this morning?” There are sisters, friends, neighbors, and the ubiquitous “this weekend,” even though it’s only Wednesday.

When they have spoken and the air is empty of hands, I take a deep breath. “I have something to say.  Today you begin Lent.  In my church it begins this Sunday, and on that day it’s traditional to ask forgiveness of everyone in the community.  So I want to ask your forgiveness.  It’s my job, first, to love you with the love of Christ, and second, to support and educate you.  I know I have fallen short, and I am sorry if I have neglected you, hurt your feelings or failed you in any way.  And if there is something specific I have done to offend you, please let me know so that I can apologize for that, too.  I want to begin the Fast with a clean slate.  Please forgive me.”

It is eerily quiet, and I am surprised to feel my own heart pounding.  A few shy smiles from the back of the room. A lot of shocked expressions.  Before awkwardness descends, I bow my head and stretch out my hands: “Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name … “

The next class is after Mass, and their foreheads bear the ashy crosses of the day.  I repeat my speech, a little less nervously.  There is a quiet chorus of muffled, sympathetic whimpers, and one student cannot keep silent, whispering “That is SO sweet!”  I am a little taken aback by these expressions of emotion, and I repeat an adamant summary: “I really mean it.  Please let me know if I need to apologize to you.”  My cheeks burn through the prayer: “Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

My last group is after lunch and a little wild: their teenage brains are finally awake and alert, and their questions reflect it.  As the bell rings, they’re wanting to know whether Shakespeare told his friends about the plays he was writing.  “Like, did he give them sneak previews or anything?”  

I settle them and hear their requests for prayer: traveling, tryouts and one very sweet “for anyone who needs a prayer.”  That includes me, I realize: she is praying for me.

Again, I ask forgiveness, and this time their surprise is much more vocal. Squeals, murmurs of assent.  “Mrs. Lowe, I have a problem: you are WAY too nice.”  Another is moved to agree with me: “Me too — forgive me if I did anything to you.”  She extends her arms out.  “To any of you guys!”

The chatter ends as we say the Lord’s prayer again, and finally it occurs to me that the framework for this moment has been laid at every single class of the year, when we pray together: “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us.”  Together, we take a step toward unity, toward true understanding of each other.  Toward the Cross and eternity.

Leading, Gently

Today, on my way out of his office, I realized how much my vice-principal has taught me about how to lead:

  • Openness: he is always available.  If he’s out of his office, he returns phone calls or e-mails right away and works around my schedule to find a time to talk.  And once we are talking, I never feel a bit rushed or foolish for bringing up my concerns: he really listens and wants to help.
  • Trust: when I recently asked his advice about a situation with a student, he first responded, “What’s your feeling about this?” I told him, and he said, “That’s what I was thinking, too.” There are no words to describe the gift of a principal who trusts his teachers.  I know that he will defend me and my actions.
  • Joy: he has a wonderful sense of humor. I frequently leave his office laughing, with a healthy distance between myself and my problems.  His quick wit helps me realize how utterly unoriginal my situation is: others have endured this before me, and I too will endure it, with God’s help and his support.
  • Love: he helps remind me of why I am a teacher.  At the close of our conversation today (which centered around three separate incidents of parent communication) we both ruefully acknowledged that this was the season for such flare-ups.  People are overcome by the pressure and stress of the holiday season, and this causes them to get angry or hurt by situations that are really not so bad.  And then he took one more step: “We need to pray for peace,” he said.  “Peace for the whole world,” I remembered, as we pray at each Liturgy.  “Yes, for the whole world,” he said, “and for ourselves, too.”

Changes are Coming

Give a husband and wife five days off in a row, and there’s no telling what might happen.

They might, for instance, serve Thanksgiving dinner to eleven, and in the process decide they’ve had enough of making do in their hodgepodge kitchen, and two days later order brand new cabinets and appliances and start gathering volunteers to tear the place up.

Or they might hear a sob story about a friend of a friend of a friend who found a sweet shepherd-mix puppy in the city and is looking to give her away.  They might visit, swoon and make plans to bring her home, right about the same time they’re planning to lose their kitchen and most of their dining room.

And it’s always possible that the English teacher who hasn’t had time to read anything but papers like this will pick up a book that will change her life.  And if that were true (hypothetically) it wouldn’t matter a bit that the book was a gift from the author, her cousin — if anything, it would make the experience that more meaningful, a little like a letter from an older and more experienced friend who knows the way.

The Urban Farm Handbook is a witty, practical guide to your personal paradigm shift from big-box grocery to local living.  Organized into seasons (beginning with winter — how timely and / or perfect for Christmas!) that are further subdivided into subject chapters, it gives just enough detail to instruct but not overwhelm.

I’ve read a lot about the locavore movement.  The vast majority has been in the form of personal narratives, moving and off-putting by turns.  The author (and, usually, spouse) is drawn to traditional methods of farming, producing, cooking and living; s/he spends a set length of time, almost always a year, practicing these methods, and in doing so reaches some degree of enlightenment.  Even when they’re beautifully written, as most are, these books don’t do more than vaguely inspire you in some ways and nauseate you in others. Titles in this category include:

On the other side of the spectrum are books that are so professional, they’re largely over your head.  They’re also fun to read; they’re great daydream material and would be perfect resources if you decided to move out to the country, but you can’t find much use for their advice where you live.  Examples:

The Urban Farm Handbook has found the Goldilocks sweet spot: just right for people like me, who are frustrated when their increased knowledge doesn’t lead to life changes.  It’s for environmentalists who want to produce less waste, parents who want their children to grow up in a real community, and cooks who are obsessed with freshness.  It gives loads of advice to all kinds of readers.

I’m scheming to make this a monthly feature in my Patch column next year, supplementing the authors’ advice with my own research about the Mid-Atlantic region (they live in the Pacific Northwest.)  But I’ll write here about the behind-the-scenes activity, which you might find just as interesting.  In fact, I’m already hard at work on the first chapter.  Stay tuned!

Culture to the Rescue

Sometimes it’s good to buy nonrefundable tickets in advance.  It means you can’t back out at the last minute, no matter how much you have to do.

It means that, after three long days of parent conferences, missed meetings and students who have worked themselves into a frenzy, you’re forced to shut down the computer for a few hours and take in dinner and an opera with your adopted sister, the friend you can unload on about home and work (it helps that she’s a teacher too) and then, full and happy with Thai and chocolate, lose yourself in a gorgeous and silly story about sex, lies and damnation.

Who knew the prudish Donna Anna could be so breathtakingly pious about the memory of her departed father? Or that Leporello could work so much humor into a scene that almost claims his life?  And the music — the real reason we put up with the repetitive lyrics and melodramatic make-out scenes — the soaring violins, stately harpsichord, trilling clarinets.  It was one giant three-hour sigh of relief from this week that is now, happily, more than half over.

All Hallow's Eve

On my thirty-second Halloween, I thought a couple of weeks ago after reading this, I’ll finally have an appropriate response.

Growing up, many of the families in my conservative Evangelical circle did not celebrate Halloween at all.  They had “harvest parties” that, ironically, were probably more firmly rooted in paganism than the idea of a night when the demons gain a measure of independence from the power of the saints’ prayers.

Others, like mine, allowed trick-or-treating but shunned costumes that seemed to glorify death — no bloody-fanged vampires; hippies, cowboys, or even dice.  (This was my sister’s brainstorm: her head, with a black stocking cap, was the single dot.  As costumes go, it was pretty straightforward.)

Neither response seems exactly right, though.  How can you be a light to the world without marginalizing the traditions of our society (which, on the surface, have merit — on what other night will you spontaneously interact with so many neighborhood children?)

I like Steve’s idea because it allows people to participate in a lovely tradition without too much explanation or judgment.  I meant to borrow some supplies from the church yesterday, but amid the post-Liturgy chaos it slipped my mind.  So this afternoon I was a little grumpy until I remembered the jar of candles I keep in the icon corner, leftovers from special services like Pascha and memorials.  I liked the idea of these unknown children picking up where my prayers left off; what better way to connect with the people of my community?

I rustled around in the basement for a candle box, but after a little brainstorming, decided there really was no acceptable substitute for sand. (Topsoil? Pea gravel? Rock salt? All fall short for different reasons.)  So I headed over to Lowe’s to buy some — and lo and behold, found a half-empty bag that I could actually carry out.

It was a nice night, so I opened the windows and turned on The Rudder, a streaming radio station run by some friends in California.  It’s a wonderful variety of meditative and joyful Orthodox hymns from all different traditions, and I found that I enjoyed listening to it even in place of the silence I so treasure after a hectic day at school.  It was a little too cold to sit outside, so I settled for just inside the door, with my book and a slightly-alarmed cat (music and open windows are not standard operating procedure, and she knows this.)

Just after nightfall, they started to knock.  Following Steve’s lead, I offered each one a piece of candy and then asked, “Would you like to light a candle?”  Out of dozens of children, I only had one refusal all night — a shy adolescent who was alone.  The others were gleeful and full of questions.

“What is it?” some asked. “It’s like a prayer,” I responded, as simply as I could.  They understand prayer, I know.  In this mostly blue-collar neighborhood, black families are AME or Baptist; Latino means Catholic. The vast majority attend church; it’s the white families who don’t, and very few of those have children of trick-or-treating age.

Mostly, they were probably amazed that an adult was asking them to light something on fire.  Well, I’ll take what I can get.  Bigfoot removed her furry claws to grasp a beeswax taper, and Mario singed one of his white-gloved fingers.  A tiny bumblebee accepted my guiding hand over hers, and her mother was grateful: “That’s really nice,” she said.  “What a good idea.  That’s really something different.”  

They all said that, the adults: from the street, the steps, or — as is disturbingly more common — the car, which I suppose must be more efficient than searching for the next friendly house on foot.  “That’s different.”  That’s why it worked so well.

“Happy Halloween,” I said, over and over again, and behind me, a Russian deacon intoned his assent: “A-MIIIIIINNNNN!”

Five Happy Thoughts

Boy, what a week.  It began with, literally, hundreds of essays to grade; having lost so many days from the beginning of the year, I had no choice but to push everything to the last day possible (and even asked for an extension so I could finish marking them over the weekend and still get a little sleep.)  A deep breath and then we launched right into the second quarter: new lesson plans, new texts, new questions.

I laid down the law about absences and trips out of the classroom, both of which students have more control over than they’d like to admit.  (One student asked me first thing if she could use the bathroom; I asked her to wait. Once I’d outlined the new policy limiting everyone to four trips per quarter, it turned out she didn’t have to go after all.)  Discussing these things is awfully tedious for everyone, but when they’re not addressed, loads of tiny interruptions add up to a vaguely chaotic feeling in the classroom, and ultimately it distracts everyone from our real goal: teaching and learning about English and life.

But there were so many bits of happiness sprinkled throughout all this drudgery.  Here are the highlights:

  • ONE father called to thank me for tutoring his daughter, who has several rather severe learning disabilities. We’d been studying techniques for test-taking on the SAT, and when her newest scores came in, the guidance counselors were simply shocked she had done so well.  She was accepted to her school of choice within a day, where she’ll be able to play field hockey (her sport of choice) and get an education with the supports she needs.  “I have two more kids,” he said at the end of the conversation, “so you’ll be hearing from me soon.”
  • TWO former students flew at me for hugs and gushing greetings.  “Mrs. LOWE!  How ARE you?  I haven’t seen you in so long!”  A third thanked me for all my help preparing her for the SAT; it was even more of a gift to see how much she’d matured in the intervening years, from an awkward and slightly-sullen teenager into a glowing, self-possessed young woman.
  • THREE students who were struggling took the time to complete an extra-credit assignment (seeing a play and comparing it with the written work we’d studied in class.)  They enjoyed the experience and their grades rose along with their confidence.  
  • FOUR pianists are progressing by leaps and bounds because they get to work together.  It’s amazing to see how much more they learn from each other than from me.
  • FIVE minutes after the bell rang, I dashed into class (my first tardiness of the year; I was blindsided by a schedule change and sabotaged by an uncooperative copier.)  When I entered the classroom, breathless and on edge, every student was sitting in her desk with her book open.  “Oh, hello, Mrs. Lowe,” one called out.  “We’ve just been discussing what we think of Hester Prynne.”

So, you see, it wasn’t all bad.  It rarely is.

 

The One Who Kept Me Going

Still cursing myself for stopping my New York Times subscription a month before the special Food & Drink and Education issues arrived (Full price? Me?!), I am also still working my way through the treasure trove of articles within — cobbled together as best I can from Twitter links and the Times Mobile app.

This piece, one of a growing sort of tapas-style journalism, was incredibly moving: in it, fifteen New Yorkers share brief meditations on their most influential teacher.  Here’s Wes Anderson, of Rushmore and Darjeeling fame:

He was nothing like our other teachers. For one thing, he was a man. The only man in the school who did not teach P.E. Also, he had a computer. I think he built it himself. His handwriting was neat but somehow exotic. He spoke briskly and seriously, and he pointed his finger at us a lot. It was immediately apparent that the range of his knowledge went far beyond anything we were ever going to touch on in class. He invented games for us. In the fall, we were each assigned countries that we represented in an international trade market. Wars were declared. Mineral deposits were discovered. Fortunes were made and lost. In the spring, he put up a poster on which he had pasted a hundred faces cut out of newspapers and magazines. All semester we searched for clues and slowly learned who they were, but he had to finally give us Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. (This was in pre-algebra, by the way.)

The Visionary Professor may be a cliche, but it’s still an inspiring one.  I wish I were Mr. Burris — or, failing that, that he would come and teach me.