Archive for October, 2009

La Terroir

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

Last week I found myself struggling to teach the first bars of “Unchained Melody” to a father who wanted to learn to play.  His daughter continued her own lesson on the floor, playing a memory game by herself; we heard her trying out the pronunciation of “fortissimo” as she turned the card over in her hand, tracing the italic f’s softly, an introduction to a new world of sound.

Meanwhile, her father was cautious, bashful, but eager to work.  As we finished, his hands trembling from the effort, he breathed a sigh of relief.  “This is so hard!” he exclaimed. “It’s like learning another language!”

I told him he was right, explained the similarity: when you read something out loud, you don’t read each word individually; your eyes scan the page and give your brain a few moments’ warning before your mouth actually needs to form the words.  Reading music is the same, but there are numerous systems of denotation: tone, rhythm, pitch and expression all intersect in one glorious symphony of Unchained bliss.

He shook his head.  “It’s like taking a Spanish class or something.”

I laughed.  “I can’t help you with Spanish,” I said ruefully.  “I took French instead.  I probably should have taken Spanish.”  It was a lie of which I am ashamed: in truth, I am proud to know a language and culture as lovely as French, even at the expense of something far more practical.  The language itself can move me to tears, as it did once in a Solemn Mass at Sacre-Coeur or in the husky outpourings of Carla Bruni — so much so that reading it during Agape Vespers is difficult.  Even the word emouvant, moving, is far richer a concept in French than in English.

Rod Dreher wrote very beautifully yesterday about terroir, another French word that can’t easily be translated.  As I read his words (tres emouvant) I thought about my own terroir.  Here are the basic elements:

Books. I’m sitting next to a huge shelf of them.  This is a laptop, so I could be anywhere, such as in my bed upstairs, where Rob and my comforter are nestled in a warm, fluffy pile.  But if I leave this room, I won’t be able to grab something I need from one of my color-coordinated shelves, and that’s too much of a risk when I’m

Writing. It is the focus and bane of my existence.  I love it.  I hate it.  I’m good at it.  I suck at it.  These thoughts follow me throughout the day.  I cannot lose them, but I cannot stop, either.  For now, I’m here.

Maia. About five minutes ago  she moved from her perch beside my head, wedging herself into my lap in front of the keyboard.  I have to type haltingly, a few precious letters at a time, to avoid disturbing her.  But I do it, because a warm, fluffy kitty is even better than the warm, fluffy comforter upstairs.  Few people ever see this side of my snobby Siamese diva, but that makes it all the more precious to me.

Pain. She is digging her claws into my lap in ecstasy, and I am protected by only a single layer.  The pain is worth it.  It is my experience that this is true more often than not.

Pajamas. Covered with cat hair.  And my own hair is a mess, half-damp from my shower and uncombed.  But it’s my terroir.  And six days a week I get up early to put on a Catholic schoolteacher’s uniform, so today I get to languish a little in comfort with

Mexican Cocoa. Raw milk, heated just enough.  Sucanat.  Cocoa, cinnamon and a pinch of cayenne to stop my cough (the remnants of what I think is probably a developing mold allergy.)  It goes very well with

Mexican Gangsta Rap. Didn’t expect that, did you?  But it’s pouring out of the car across the street, and in spite of myself, I’m enjoying the beat.  It’s my terroir, but it’s not my world.

Music. Currently from Rob, who is now awake and drifting from David Bowie to Colin Hay and the Cars.  Snatches of his guitar drift downward, as does his strong, gorgeous voice.  Few people see this side of him; he doesn’t like to perform, unlike his fearless and choleric wife.  But hearing him strum away upstairs is one of the great joys of my life.

An Unexpected Gift

Friday, October 30th, 2009

The buzz began during first period: “There’s no water!  What’re we supposed to do?!”  “I dunno, but I REALLY gotta pee!”  The Pavlovian reflexes spread like wildfire: the moment they knew they couldn’t go, everyone had to.

During the break between classes, I squeezed apologetically into line for a bagel.  (Teachers are allowed to cut, but I felt guilty anyway.)  As I ambled back upstairs munching, I passed the vice principal.  “So, we get to leave now, right?” I joked.  “We’ll give it 15 more minutes,” she answered, completely serious.

I swallowed and returned to my classroom, where the students were gathered in a whispering huddle of misery.  “Omigod, I have to go SO bad,” one moaned.  Inwardly, I rolled my eyes.  Girls.

The bell rang, and eight pairs of eager eyes were trained on me – silently, for once.  “It looks like they’re going to cancel school,” I said, smiling.  A series of high-pitched noises ensued: they had not dared to hope for this!

No sooner had I closed my mouth than we heard the click of the PA system.  “May I have everyone’s attention, please.” You could hear a pin drop.  “The county has not been able to give us any more information about the water main break, so we have no choice but to close sch – ”

The poor secretary never finished her sentence; or, if she did, it was drowned out in a chorus of shrieks and cheers that ran the length of four hallways on four floors, from the mouths of hundreds of giddy teenage girls (and probably a few teachers, too.) Immediately, they began making plans to go to lunch together on their day off.

I knew I wouldn’t be going out to lunch; I had so much catching up to do, grading and planning, that I’d probably be there until the final bell rang anyway. (I was.)  But something about group giddiness is awfully infectious, and  I couldn’t help but be filled with wild joy along with the rest of them.

Informationally Impaired

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Informationally Impaired

Leave it to Bill Watterson to condense the problems of an entire generation into four neat panels.

A Woodhousian Madeline

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

“I do not like it when people go away.  I know they must sometimes, but I do not like it.”

So speaks Mr. Woodhouse, the pathetic paterfamilias of Jane Austen’s “Emma.”  Like many of her characters, he is a predictable trope, a cariacature of himself, and most readers find him downright irritating.  But I feel more and more of a connection with Mr. Woodhouse these days.

I was able to write a little when my sister left; what I couldn’t write was the gnawing, grating emptiness that fills me each time I remember how far away she is, and how long it will be before I see her again.

My brother leaves us for months at a time, going to Montana in the summer and now, possibly, out of state for good to start a new branch of his business.  It is harder to write about how badly I miss him — even when he’s here, I miss him.  We inhabit different worlds: his is rocks and dogs and football, and mine is books and dinners and too many choking thoughts.  We are so far apart.  My friend Jessamyn comes close here (yes, that it is a long link, but trust me, it’s worth it.)

Last month, some dear friends moved north.  It’s “just for awhile;” he’s in school up there.  But after school, depending on where the jobs are, there will probably be another move, maybe further away.  Their children are growing too quickly.  I miss them.

Another friend, a brother really, left for a year in an unstable African country last July.  I was able to say goodbye, barely.  But I saw him again last weekend, home for a family wedding, and this time I had to say goodbye for much longer.  This time I knew what it meant, the danger he is in and the loneliness I will feel without him here.  This time it was harder to let go.

I detest the Virtual Community revolution in part because, at its core, it is hollow and empty.  It is a poor substitute for flesh and blood, hugs and tears, shared glances and jokes.  This is especially true of all the people I’ve just mentioned — siblings, friends, people who have moved south and north and west and had babies and joined the Coast Guard and made new friends to fill in the gaps.  When was the last time we were all together?  Probably a decade ago.  I left them first, to go to college; they scattered too, one by one, some bouncing back, some unable to resist the inertia of their new homes.  I guess it’s my Woodhousian Madeline, that memory — washing cars for the youth group, or playing and listening to music, or making up silly games to pass the time and put off homework.

I am certainly not so naive as to imagine I am the first person to miss people who move away and grow apart.  But it’s hit me awfully hard, all of a sudden.  It’s hard to be the one who’s still here.

Simpler = Better

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Well, maybe not always, but certainly when you’re trying to run a business on the side without too many headaches.  Here are three policies I’ve adopted recently, which have helped my piano lessons to run more smoothly:

1) Make payments simple. After years of calendar headaches, I now plan out the school year so that there are 9 months in the year and 36 lessons.  (Some months have more than four weeks; some have fewer, because of holidays when I don’t teach.)  At the beginning of each month, families pay me for four lessons.  They always forget how much they owe me, but now I can tell them immediately, because it never changes.

2) Keep your calendar in front of you. I started doing this one summer, when lesson times were so erratic I had trouble keeping track: I just printed and copied my weekly schedule so I could change it at a glance.  Now I do it during the fall and spring, too.  It makes it easier if someone says they’ll be gone the following week, and I have one designated place to keep notes if someone calls and wants to change times.

3) Review. Since I can never remember when I have last heard a piece, I recently made a rule that I will hear every piece in every student’s repertoire at the first lesson of the month.  This reduces the chance that a piece will slip away because I’ve forgotten to ask for it.  Musically, of course, review is one of the best ways to encourage a student; it shows her how much she’s accomplished.

You know a system is good when you’re constantly asking yourself, “WHY didn’t I do this sooner?!”  Well, at least I’m doing it now!